Well, I'm at it again. This past semester/year/21 years/whatever, I've been spectacularly douche-tacular. I try to make things happen when it's OBVIOUSLY not time for it to happen. God has just really been stretching me in my patience and trust in Him, because I know that His plan for me is perfect and awesome, and if I accept Jesus, who sacrificed Himself on the cross to pay for my blatant stupidity, I can experience His plan in whole. But will I give up my crap? Oh, of course not because I'm stubborn and don't want to get hurt by having that immeasurable faith in the only One who deserves it. Do I want to? With every ounce of my being. Perhaps I will. By that I mean I want someone to hold me accountable. (So, if/when you see me being an idiot, call me out.)
God just wants what's best for me in order to grow closer to Him. Something that I learned over this Christmas break (@ DCC) was that a person's walk with the Lord isn't always a joyous walk. There isn't anywhere the Bible that says once you give your life over to Jesus everything will fall into place. Having faith isn't always easy, or pain-free, for that matter. As a Christian, you will experience heart break, physical ailments, let-downs, failed tests, disappointments, bad bosses, traffic tickets, and the most amazing joy in the history of everything: knowing and having a relationship with Jesus Christ. My negativity may not be the most effective way to evangelize, but it's true. Accepting Jesus doesn't turn you into Clark Kent. That's not how it works. Letting Jesus work through you by surrendering everything eventually makes the tough stuff easier to deal with. But it's all a part of His infinite plan. God is a sovereign and merciful King, and we must trust Him to provide the gift to be able to discern what He's trying to teach us through the hardships. Then, in turn, He will bless you, whether in this lifetime or in heaven. I'm just looking forward to seeing where He leads me next. . .