If You Keep Eating Like That, No One Will Love You

Oh. My. Gosh. Do I mean this. Not the quality, quantity, or frequency of which you eat, because, let's be real, I have no room to talk. Not any of that, but how loudly you choose to do this. At least around me. That's my real issue here.

Fun fact: I have misophonia. What exactly is misophonia, you ask? Misophonia, as defined by Wikipedia (a totally reliable source), "is a neurological disorder in which negative experiences are triggered by specific sounds." Boom. That's it, really. And an individual's reaction (disgust, anger, fight, flight, whatever) to his or her specific trigger really sets the tone for the day. My typical reaction is disgust, so if you ever see me with a look on my face like you are the most repugnant person in the world, it's totally not your fault; I'm just reacting to one of my triggers. Unless you're Glenn Beck. Then you are, undisputedly, the most repugnant.

Triggers range from person to person. DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE MISOPHONIA, STOP READING RIGHT NOW AND SCROLL DOWN. I'M GOING TO LIST MY TRIGGERS, AND I DON'T WANT TO PUT YOU THROUGH ANY MORE ANGUISH THAN WHAT IS DEALT IN EVERYDAY LIFE.


My triggers specifically are: eating noises of any kind, swallowing, drinking noises, pen clicking, sniffling, that tiny smacking noise that some people make when they're talking, repetitive consonants (mostly s sounds), chewing ice, and weird visual stimuli like fidgeting with papers.

Thanks, Chandler.

MISOPHONIA SUFFERERS, COME BACK IN. Welcome.

Okay, imagine you hate the sound of people eating. Not just a dislike, but blood boiling hatred. And every time someone does that around you, it's the equivalent of someone dragging their nails down a chalkboard. And now it's not just eating, it's also the sound of the other triggers I listed. Almost 10 different things a person can do can send you into a fit. The chances of someone activating one of your triggers is incredibly high. And remember, not only do strangers do this, but so do the people you love. Essentially every person with whom you come into contact will make your skin crawl. Imagine that every single day of your life. The constant frustration is enough to drive me to tears, but then again, I'm a baby.

The frustration I feel with myself is pretty constant, considering I get so angry with the people so close to me over something they probably don't realize is killing me. I have no blame for these people, I'm aware it's all me and my hypersensitive brain. The thought of me killing my relationships because of this disorder absolutely terrifies me. What if I miss out on a killer opportunity because I couldn't look at a potential employer because they were fidgeting and had dry mouth? What if I disregard Mr. Right because he has a cold? Like I said, terrifying.

I don't want to be the social pariah because I lashed out at someone who had triggered my reaction. The pain inflicted by this disorder often goes unnoticed or is disregarded, while the sufferers are being told to simply "get over it." Those triggers aren't just annoying; they do mold how I react to a day.  If my happiness and comfort is dependent on me avoiding being around someone who on the off chance might breathe, there's something wrong. I'm just saying we need to raise awareness of this disorder. Until I heard the word, I thought I was hypercritical of everyone. Now I know I'm just nutso. Haha, just kidding. It can be difficult and overwhelming, and I do apologize in advance if something does trigger while I'm around you. Just giver me a moment, and I'll be back in no time.


Also, I do apologize for the nature of this post. It's been a very long/tough weekend, and this topic has been heavy on my mind as of late. I've wanted to blog about it for a while, but I could never bring myself to do it. I really hope I've condensed it so people could understand the frustration and hurt that go along with misophonia. Thanks for putting up with this semi-ranty post. Love you guys.

An Open Letter to Ed Helms

Everyone I know is married or engaged. Okay. Not everyone, but can't a girl be dramatic every once in a while? Absolutely.

If they aren't married, they're off on fabulous adventures. And I'm left here wondering who wants to crochet with me. The fact that I'm a 68-year-old woman in a 23-year-old's body has to have something to do with it. Or the fact that the thing I'm currently most passionate about is which type of hot sauce will taste best on my popcorn.

I actually posted something about this on Facebook earlier this week (hot sauce and everyone getting engaged. yes, same post), raising the rhetorical question* of when will I find someone I can be excited about and if that person does, indeed, exist. 1. Stop it, pervs. It's not like that. 2. No, I'm not bitter; I'm quite happy for all of them. Scout's honor. Perhaps I'm just antsy because a lot of my friends from high school and college have found someone like that, or at least a temp that has the possibility of a full-time job and further advancement with the company. . .wait, what?

The way I see it, if I don't feel like a relationship is going to go anywhere, or if I'm not excited about the prospect of being in that relationship, it's not fair to the other person for me to waste their time or emotions. I'd expect someone to be that fair with me. I swear I'm not a cynic, just a realist. So it goes, right? This whole post actually makes me seem like a really awful, horrible, bitter human being, but I really do have a good outlook on all of this. I'm planning a beautiful wedding ceremony for my cats, so I have that. I'm totally kidding. But not really. Kidding. Maybe not? We'll see. I'll keep you posted.

And who knows? Maybe my future husband is reading this right now. Maybe there's someone out there actively looking for a sarcastic, crocheting, guitar playing, crafting, filthy liberal woman muddling her way through life with misophonia. Maybe his name is Ed Helms. And maybe he'll contact me through one of my various social media sites. A girl can dream. In the mean time, just to clarify in case there's any confusion, I'm fine doing me for a while.

Mandatory "I'm in a really good place right now and it probably has something to do with this" selfie

The cool thing about being single is that you don't need to rely on anyone else to make you happy, and honestly, you shouldn't be relying on anyone else to make you happy ever. My opinion. You can do whatever the hell you want. My vision of this idealistic relationship is that someone is just as thrilled as you are to be doing those same things regardless of how unfathomably geeky that activity is. With you even. Is that a big part of it? Sure, why not.

The ball is in your court, Mr. Helms.

*Any of you looking to answer this rhetorical question: I hope you step in dog poop every day for the rest of your life. I could not be more serious. Cut it out.

Chamomile

Oh. My. Gosh.

I said it in my last post, these chamomile soaks are working wonders. No doubt. No more red, itchy, inflamed bump on the back of my anti tragus. Now it's just an itty bitty bump that peels every now and then. I think I'll be able to change to a smaller post soon. I can live with that for a while, but I'm also ready for it to be a fully-healed piercing. (:

Look at this progress!

For anyone dealing with an angry cartilage piercing:  SOAK YOUR NEW PIERCING WITH  CHAMOMILE! I cannot stress how well this worked for me. Seriously, two weeks, soaking once or twice a day after cleaning it in the shower with warm water, and being hyper-aware of what was touching my new blingy ear, and the scarring is almost non existant. If you're going to spend all that money to get a piece of high-quality jewelry ripped through your tender flesh, the least you can do is do what you can to keep you piercing as healthy as it can be. Truth.

The magical, anti-inflammatory flower that has changed my outlook on healing times.

Also, something kind of cool happened to me today at work. I met someone else with an anti tragus piercing! She said hers was loud. Mine wasn't, but I do remember it being a little more painful than what I was expecting. It was a first for me and I was a little creepy about it. . .surprise? I don't care, I probably won't ever see this woman again in my life.

EDIT: Definitely saw that woman again. She was in my section at work this weekend and left me a killer $6 tip. Anti tragus buddies for life.

Paying People to Stab Me in the Ears

Okay. I think I have a problem.

Recently, I started getting into piercing my ears.

NeoMetal goodness

It started innocently enough, with a cute little white opal gracing my right anti tragus, but as soon as I walked out of the studio, I was ready for another one (as stated in my previous post - linked here.) I knew, however, my income as a server wasn't high enough to support two piercings with high-quality service and jewelry in the same day.

So, naturally, I waited a month to go back in and get things checked out, mostly because my new piercing was being a little pissy, probably from being bumped around and hair products. Mathieu, the piercer at Studio 51/50 and possibly the best in Nebraska, said I had some hypertrophic scarring going on & suggested chamomile soaks. Honestly, soaking my ear with a tea bag was not what I had expected. It's super soothing and it seems to be reducing the irritation.

Hypertrophic scarring on my anti tragus

I can hear the ocean!

Anyhow, chamomile's been working wonders. So, while I was in there, getting my month-old piercing checked, I decided it was a waste of being in there if I didn't get another one. I originally wanted a snug or an orbital helix, but Mathieu advised against it and suggested a faux snug: a conch piercing and an auricle piercing to give the illusion of a snug. I was all in, so I started with the conch.

This one was a little bit different than my anti tragus. For the anti tragus, it was a quick pain, me saying, "Oh, there it is," and the agony of putting in the jewelry. I'm being dramatic. It wasn't that bad. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say the pain was around a 6. For the conch, he used an o-needle. Needless to say, I wasn't expecting what happened. There was a loud crunch, me saying, "Oh, gross!" and that was it. It was like, CRRrrreeuuhngkggkgkh. Gross. It didn't really hurt, probably a 4/10. Naturally, more white opal.

Please excuse the blood. This is around 1 hour after I got it done on Saturday.

I can't wait to go back and finish the piece.

Imagine another white opal to finish that bad boy off.

Also, something else that's been happening that I love, my friends have been asking me to go with them to get their piercings. Yesterday, I went in with my friend, Jenni, while she got a cute little rook piercing. I think I'm too much of a wiener to get that one done. (: She took it like a champ and chose a beautiful curved barbell with light blue gems. I think we're going sometime next month to get another one. I can't decide if I want to finish my faux snug, get a daith piercing, or my second lobes. Also, I have a question: would it be too weird to get my second lobes done, and stretch them to around a 6g or so, and leave my first ones small? I like dangly earrings too much to stretch my first lobes. . .

Whatever. I'll figure it out. I think this is something I could get really passionate about.

I Write Nasty Things About My Cousin on My Blog.

That's a lie. I was just using that to get you here, Alicia.

Recently, I was nominated for a Liebster award by Lauren. When I say recently, I really mean two and a half weeks ago. . .close enough. She and I were in a movie together a few years ago, and she's such a cool person. Her blog is really great, too. So check it out.

Okay. So about how long it took me to get around to doing this. It's just been a weird couple of weeks. I haven't necessarily been busy, just not in the right mindset to write. Whatever. I'm over it and writing now. 

Here we go.

The Liebster Award is an award distributed by bloggers for blogger with under 200 followers. Rad, right? It's a cool way to learn more about the writers behind the blogs you read.

The Rules:
1. Choose 11 other up-and-coming bloggers and link to them in your Liebster post.
2. Answer the 11 questions the previous blogger set for you, then create 11 different ones for the bloggers you will choose.
3. Let those bloggers know you nominated them.
4. No tag backs. No mulligans. No puppy guarding. Okay, just don't tag the person who nominated you. Or puppy guard. It's the worst.
5. Display the Liebster logo. Nailed it.

Lauren's Questions to Me

1. Did you like coffe the first time you tried it?

Like, straight, black coffee? No. I still don't like black coffee. When I do drink coffee, which is a rare occurrence indeed (I'm a tea person), it needs to be so diluted with cream and sugar it just vaguely resembles the drink it began as.

2. Quick. Fast. Most beautiful celebrity ever. Male or female. I don't care.

Ryan Reynold is the prettiest man I've ever seen. He's also hilarious, so that helps.

3. Which book have you most enjoyed over the past 5 years? Why?

Desert Solitaire by Edward Abbey, for a couple different reasons. A) Up until spring 2011, I had never read a novel about the environment. B) It made me fall in love with Arches National Park - a real place I've never been. It's easy to fall in love with a fantastical environment, however, this book doesn't romanticize the park. It just is what it is. And it's a beautiful, decaying/living place. I love it.


4. What is your favorite season of the year? Why?

Baseball season. Go Royals & Giants! (I can do that because they're in different leagues. And because I do what I want.)

5. Is there a blog that you read every day? Which one?

I don't know if this really counts. . .I'm  on If You Can't Afford to Tip a lot. There are just a lot of relatable things for anyone in the service industry. And I love laughing at stupid people.

6. Milk chocolate or dark chocolate?

Milk chocolate. Hands down. Any day of the week.

7. Which cartoon did you watch the most when you were little?

Either Rugrats or Cowboys of Moo Mesa

8. If you could be a kitchen appliance, what would you be? Why?

I've actually discussed this topic before. I'd be an ice cube maker because I want everyone to chill. (:

9. How do you feel about the Oxford comma?

You know I have an opinion on this. I was an English student. It's a necessary part of punctuation that's frequently overlooked.

That last comma makes all the difference.

10. If they made another Austin Powers movie, who would you cast as the newest leading lady?

Cloris Leachman. . .is she still alive? I don't care. Her. I'd cast her.

11. Which are cuter, puppies or kittens? And no saying "baby hedgehogs," because obviously they would win.

This is an impossible question to answer. I love both sooooooooo much. Baby red pandas? I cheated and I'm not ashamed.

My Brainbusters for you:

1. Crumple or fold? (toilet paper, that is.)
2. How do you feel about people who chew on ice?
3. How do we know each other?
4. *NSync or Backstreet Boys? Why?
5. What is one book that changed your life? How?
6. How is your life different than what you had imagined it would be at age 11?
7. Is there one piece of jewelry that you always wear?
8. Why aren't tattoos/facial piercings acceptable in the majority of professional workplaces?
9. Could you survive without sunglasses? Obviously I'm being dramatic. How would forgetting your sunglasses at home impact your day?
10. What language do you love to listen to, but don't understand or speak any yourself? Why?
11. What is your favorite color combination?

AND THE NOMINEES FOR A LIEBSTER AWARD (from Britni) ARE:

Can I Get That in Cornflower Blue? - Josh

In These Shoes - Chelsea

Grace and Peace - Mairin

Stepping Out From the Old and Into The New - Amanda

Coffee and Crayolas with Ms. Roemmich - Kat

Jealous for Me - Hillary

Things I See God Do. . . - Stephanie

Point of Focus - Laura

I know there are only 8. I honestly don't follow a lot of blogs, but these ones are my favorites. Some of the people don't post often/haven't posted in a while, but I hope this sparks them back into writing. *fingers crossed*

Lauren, thanks so much for nominating me! I can't wait to read what everyone else writes. (:

Swiggity Swag, What's in the Bag?

Ooooh, man. I'm lazy. I promised the pattern to my ewok hoodie probably a month ago on instagram and twitter. I had it all written up, correct stitch count, materials used, everything. But I never got around to it. I am a piece of work. It's not like I've been too busy to post it, just lazy. Anyway, here it is.

EWOK INFINITY HOOD

Supplies Needed: 3 Skeins Main Color (I used Loops & Threads Impeccable in Pumpkin)

1 Skein Contrast Color (I used Loops & Threads Fabulous Fur in Wolf)

U.S. - K 6.5mm

Stitch markers

Gauge: 10 dc x 6 rows = 4 inches

Scarf

ch 175 (yarn held doubled), and connect to first chain

Row1: ch 2, skip 1st stitch, dc in every stitch to end. sl st to 2nd chain at beginning of the row.

Row2-7: ch 2, skip 1st stitch, dc in every stitch to end. sl st to 2nd chain at beginning of the row.

finish and weave in ends.

Hood

set place marker where you broke off yarn. count out 21 st from pm on both sides.

Row1: join (yarn held doubled) with sl st to outer marked st.  ch 2, dc in each stitch across. move center marker up to new center. end with a dc in last marked stitch. turn. [43 stitches]

Row2: ch 2, dc in each stitch to 1 before center, 2 dc in next stitch, dc in center, 2 dc in next stitch. dc across to end of hood. turn. [45 stitches]

Row3-10: repeat row 2. turn. [47, 49, 51, 53, 55, 57, 59, 61]

Row11: ch 2, dc in each stitch to 2 before center, dc2tog, dc in center, dc2tog, dc in remaining stitch to end. [59 stitches]

Row12-17: repeat row 11. turn. [45 in last row]

fold in half and sl st closed. weave in ends.

Ears

ch 6, sl st through 1st stitch to form magic ring.

ch 3, dc 11 into center of ring, sl st into 3rd ch.

ch 3, 2dc into each stitch, sl st into 3rd ch.

ch 3, dc 1, ^dc1, 2dc. repeat from ^ around the circle. sl st into 3rd  ch.

finish and weave in ends.

fold the circles to make them look like ewok ears, and whip stitch onto hood.

weave in ends.

rock your new hood like a champ.

_____________________________________________

Really. A lot of new stuff is going on. Okay, not a lot. Two new things. One thing I've been planning for three years. Yes, since I was living in Maryland and I've been too much of a baby to actually do it. Can you handle the anticipation??

I finally got my anti-tragus pierced! I love it so much.

I won't lie to you guys, it hurt. Quite a bit. Just enough for me to say, "Oh, there it is," when the needle went through the cartilage. What really hurt the most was putting the earring in. I settled on a gorgeous white opal labret. It hasn't been too sore. The only thing that has set me back was sleeping. I get a little paranoid that I'll rip it out of my ear in the middle of the night, lose gallons of blood, and ruin my bedding.

I've been itching for another one ever since I walked out of Studio 51/50 in Kearney. I think maybe a snug or orbital helix is somewhere in my near future. Maybe when I go in three weeks from now when I get this one checked. I'll keep you posted.

Also, I dyed my hair blue.

It took me three freaking times.

And bleach.

But I love it.

I am an adult. Hire me.

And look at my new Giants shirt.

Love it.

Love them.

I'm so freaking vain.

Whatever.

Things I Thought I'd Have By My Twenties

I believe adulthood is some sort of construct placed in our minds by our parents when we're young. "BRITNI NICOLE, YOU ACT YOUR AGE," was heard countless times in my childhood, but I'm not even sure what that means. What 8-year-old chooses to be a stuffy brat? What 25/35/55/85-year-old chooses to be a stuffy brat? When does adulthood happen? Does God have feet? What the hell is the stock market? I just have so many questions. . . 

I think technically/legally/whatever I am one, but I don't feel like it. As far as I'm concerned, I will sit at the kids table for eternity, and that's totally cool. Because I think everyone else has a skewed perception on what it means to be an adult. Just me? Fair enough.

           The following is a list (I love lists) I have compiled of things I thought I'd have by my twenties, and so far, at 23, I don't.

Things I Thought I'd Have By My Twenties

(but definitely don't)

1. Acceptance into a Master's Program
2. A larger video game collection
3. A relationship moving towards the idea of marriage
4. A better understanding of life, the universe, and everything
5. A swanky apartment with chic leather furniture
6. A meaningful career as a rock star/archaeologist/illustrator/dinosaur
7. More tattoos
8. The ability to make myself presentable
9. The skills of a witty conversationalist
10. A grip on reality via Cosmo and my Twitter feed
11. The closet of a responsible adult
12. A working definition of the words "responsible" and "adult"
13. More guitars
14. More Twitter followers ahahaaha
15. A really awesome MySpace page
16. The ability to stifle childish laughter brought on by anything remotely sexual
17. The experience of beating Donkey Kong 64
18. A home bar and library
19. No student debt
20. Money
21. Self-control when it comes to chocolate
22. Social skills
23. Dignity

Thirty's a way off. . .maybe by then. Until December of 2019, I'll be the one at the kids table with black olives on her fingers, Kool-aid moustache on her face, and a plate full of snickers salad. Don't you judge me.

One. More. Semester.

Last night, at approximately 5:23, I had dwindled my college career down to one semester left. And I can tell you, it's a dang good feeling. This semester has been testing. Seriously. Hated a lot of it. Mostly the class part. I figured since this is half-time of my senior year in college I would do another one of my infamous end-of-the-year lists. I think it will help me when I'm hating everything come spring. So here we go.

GERMAN

• Wake up on time.
• Two vowels go walking, the second one does the talking. (In German at least)
• Oktoberfest is actually in September.
• Umlauts make me want to jump out the window.

PAINTING . . . something

• Canvases are expensive as crap.
• My professor's a douche.
• I love James Ensor and Paul Cezanne.
• I didn't learn anything about oil paint.

ILLUSTRATION

• I should have been working with ink the whole time.
• Black and white is my forte.
• Adobe Illustrator blows.
• Skulls should be done with stippling.

SHAKESPEARE

• Becoming an English minor was the worst decision of my life.
• The Lion King was based on Hamlet. I think that's why I enjoyed this play best.
• You can get through an English class without reading any of the plays. Just show up and watch the movies.
• Don't try to follow Purdon's bunny trails. It isn't worth the headache.
• It's all a construct.

Well, next semester, I'm bringing the same distress to myself -- more German, Printmaking, World Literature, and another Painting class. I know it's not a lot of credits, but it will suck on top of track meets/practice and working at the dirty bird.  My one saving thought is the idea of spending all of January talking about baseball . . . for a class. Whaterrr.  I'm just pumped about being this close to graduation.

Continental Stereotypes.

I am stuck on the N of republicans. Also known as southeast Nebraska. Perhaps not the most chic of glorious Amurrrrican locations, but alas, it is home.  I could be hanging out with only cowboys and livestock. Or sweating balls in the Amurrican southwest. Or drowning in fried chicken. Who am I kidding, I wouldn't mind that one bit. I sometimes dream about how different my life would be if I were living somewhere more glamorous. Like with the fabulously unhappy people. Not only am I perpetually pissed, but I'm an avid anti-socialite. I can definitely do angry and rude, but I can't deal with the huge number of other angry, rude people that have flocked in that direction. Or imagine me living with the obnoxious, life-of-the-party people. I mean, seriously, California, calm down. You keep it up, and the rest of the great states are kicking you out via earthquake. And speaking of intolerable douchebags, rainy hipsters: shut up. We get it, you're rad. And if there is indeed a question about whether or not you are a hipster, chances are it's a yes - a caffeinated, beanie-wearing hipster (I wish I was cool). Somewhere I really want to be is in the middle of that glorious cheese steak. Stuck in a Philadelphia (lol, Mairin), no, but physically in the beautiful city. Basically I just want to see me OCMDSP '10 buddies. Or I could live anywhere there are sailors. I love me some salty men.

Honestly, I think stereotypes like this, albeit hilarious, are inaccurate (so don't get pissy with me).  I mean, look at me: I'm a communist in Nebraska who is also a fan of Sooner football. Lawl, right? I love people that go against the social norm. They're fabulous.

Reflections on baseball and things of that sort.

I feel like it goes without saying, but sometimes I really suck. Like, really suck. Yes, it probably has something to do with the fact that I'm undoubtedly the most socially awkward person I know. And emotionally inept. And sometimes just too blunt for my own good (and I'm well aware that I sound like Dr. House, thank you).  Perhaps what bothers me the most about myself ('cause let's face it: I love being the girl who cannot and will not sugar coat anything) is the fact that I tend to overlook things that aren't bearing down on me, such as homework and other deadlines. For example: tonight before the Cru meeting, for which, of course, I was scrambling to finish slides, I was crushing it with the multitasking and watching the Texas-Detroit game and Aretha Franklin's weirdo pants. Somewhere between typing Came to my Rescue and the opening pitch, it hit me. I do not appreciate things I used to. I get so wrapped up in my monotonous, every-day life, that I have just gotten to the point where I coast through a day, rather than fully enjoy what God has given me. Even this summer, I would have made time to watch a baseball game with my dad, albeit, I worked during a lot of the games, but I would have made time to hang out with Papa Goodner afterwards. Sadly, it's as if the things I once appreciated have enhanced the monotony. If I keep repeating them, nothing stands out, so I stop for a while, neglect them, and ask myself why I even stopped in the first place. It is, indeed, a vicious cycle. Perhaps I need to do some reevaluating of my life. (Want you all to know I just heard someone hack the gnarliest lugie known to man. It was awesome.) Anyway, moral of the story, so none of y'all follow my example, don't forget what makes your life enjoyable. The drudgery interwoven into college is tough to get around, but do not, for the love of all things decent, allow it to confine your life. Yes, it's menial, and no, you'll never use that again, even though your professor specifically told you that you will, don't let it weigh you down. I think most of all what I'm trying to say is that I've really missed watching baseball with my dad. And stop sucking. All of y'all. I'm serious.

and i know this has little to do with anything,

but i just wanted to share it.

i laughed for a solid 5 minutes.

The soundtrack to my life is fueled by sleep deprivation.

This post is lovingly ripped off of my freshman roommate's facebook profile (holla atcha, Mandy) and formatted to fit my musical taste.  


THE RULES:

1. Imagine a movie is made from your life. Now: tell us the story through music, through the soundtrack of your life.
2. Don't talk about Fight Club.

And action.

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's the pop song that would be played in the trailer?

Feel the Pain by Dinosaur Jr

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during the opening credits?

Hip Hop Hooray by Naughty by Nature

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing on the radio as you wake up or as your alarm?

I Wish I Was a Hipster by Bassnectar

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing as you rush off, late to work?

New Wave by Against Me!

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing as you stay-in on a rainy Saturday?

Intermission by Senator & The New Republic

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing on the radio while you're stuck in traffic?

Where to Start by Tommy & The High Pilots

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during the montage of your daily tedium, ie. work, school, family?

Truth by Alexander

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing as your heroic theme?

Force of Nature by Pearl Jam

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing as your comedy theme?

Take it Slow by Vibenhai

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing as your party theme(s)?

Luxury by The Randies

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing as your "down on your luck" theme?

Fine for Now by Grizzly Bear

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing as your scary/suspenseful theme?

Viktor's Misery by Bobot Adrenaline

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing as your heartbreak/death theme?

Berkeley Pier by Tilt

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing as your action/badass theme?

Bulls on Parade by Rage Against the Machine

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during your elementary school flashbacks?

Two Way Monologue by Sondre Lerche

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during your high school flashbacks?

Rock & Roll by Eric Hutchinson

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during your first kiss scene?

Angel, Won't You Call Me? by The Decemberists

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during your first break-up scene?

Santa Monica by Everclear

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during your high school prom scene?

Tiny Dancer by Elton John

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during your college years?

Mouthful of Diamonds by Phantogram

Windstorm by School of Seven Bells

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during you training/endurance montage? (a la Rocky)

Show Me What I'm Looking For by Carolina Liar 

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing as your love theme?

If My Heart was a House by Owl City 

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during your wedding scene?

Waiting on an Angel by Ben Harper

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during your honeymoon/sex scene?

You and I by Lady Gaga

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing as your through-the-years montage? (a la UP)

The Girl by City and Colour

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing when you're old?

I Don't Mind by The Decemberists

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during your funeral scene?

Steal Your Words by Sundowner

In 'YOU: The Movie,' what's playing during the end credits?

Goal/Wide by Javelin

Just Like Heaven by Dinosaur Jr

Crash and Burn by Buckra

Oh, what up?

Contrary to popular belief, I am not dead. Nor am I incarcerated. Just lazy. And in the process of settling into my apartment. I love my apartment, and I love my roomies. I do not, however, love the construction and constant fleet of lawnmowers. Oh well, it will be over with time. Setting up this apartment, I've noticed common things that I always, ALWAYS incorporate into my life. Over the summer, I got severely obsessed with some killer things.

1. Fedoras. Not, like, all the time, but I LOVE me some jaunty straw hats.
2. Swamp People. Yes, it is in English. Yes, it requires subtitles. Magical television. (And I LOVE croc print. LOVE IT.)
3. Jenna Marbles. YouTube her right now. I suggest you start with What Girls Do on the Internet. 
4. Dubstep. All day, errrr day. Not really, that would be overwhelming.
5. Whisker Wars. You all KNOW how much I love facial hair. I think I'm genetically hardwired to love it. Seriously. All of the men in my family have moustaches or beards. Even my purse has a moustache. It's a privileged life.

     6.  Cowboy movies. Clint Eastwood, Duke, ah, classic.
     7.  Tunisian Crochet. It is so great. It does, however, take a year and a half to finish and makes you      exaggerate severely.

Toss in some vodka sauce and that is my life in a nutshell. Sorry about my lack of blogging this summer. I know you all were dying to know what I was doing pause not.

I suppose this could be the home stretch.

If you've seen my facebook page, you'll see that I write notes of things I've learned over the school year. Good and bad. This year won't be any different, except that it's on my blog and not fb. Finishing my third year here at Doane is just really surreal. I don't really know if that was the best word for it, but, as I learned from Ralph Waldo Emerson (in my 19th century American lit &&& Environmental lit classes), language is just a perversion of nature. And I might have stuck that in an essay during my environmental lit final yesterday. But I digress. . .
So without further ado, here's my list for 2010-2011. Junior year, yo.

1. God doesn't need us, but we need Him more than anything else in the world. I know for myself, my priorities get messed up sometimes, but God will always love and be there for me, no matter what.
2. Humility is always a struggle.
3. Deadlines suck no matter what.
4. PBR is like George Washington peeing down your throat. Okay, not really. That's disgusting. But it is about as American as a person can get.
5. Oprah Winfrey is a goddess. . . I guess. And in all actuality, OWN sucks.
6. Don't take your friends and family for granted.
7. Quality time is my love language.
8. Great-Grandma Payne kept the coolest stuff. Like newspaper clippings of my roommates'/cousins' restaurant.
9. Juicers are THE BEST. $2.50 at Walmart. Get on it.
10. Operation "Git Huge" is still fun.
11. Stuff is just stuff. I got robbed twice this year.
12. Nice weather makes the crazies come out.
13. If your doctor talks about elbow surgery, take him seriously.
14. 8 o'clock classes are the worst. Especially when they're anti-communist and the teacher is a slave driver (JARVIS).
15. Irish Cream Lattes. Balls, yes.
16. Lion King on SNES is easily the coolest game out there.
17. Right after Dutch Blitz.
18. And connections (not really, that game blows.)
19. God has a funny way of doing things, that just beg you to say aloud, "Touche God, well played."
20. English classes are pretty neat. As are art classes. And history classes when they aren't with Kim Jarvis.
21. Moustaches mean business.
22. I love my 305 boys. (Jason, Josh, Vince, Kyle, Micah and Brad. And Chase and Red by association)
23. Amigos apparently doesn't take walk-through orders. Rude.
24. Get to the vans on time, because Dunny will leave your butt behind.
25. Djembes are too cool.
26. I now know how to fill my power steering fluid and how to jump start a car. I'm considering opening my own shop. lol.
27. East Coast is the best.
28. I actually really love lists. About as much as I love my roomies Mairin, Sarah, Emily, Rachel, Molly & Courtney. And sometimes Mikayla. (:
29. I can't wait to get out of this dorm.
30. Sometimes you don't get what you want. There's a reason for that.

My communist dialect brings all the Christian boys to the yard.

I wish (ACTS 2, just sayin').  It's been a while since I've blogged. I suppose I should update you on how awesome I've been (again, I wish). Not much has been going on with me personally, but I'm just asking all of you to pray for my Grandma if you get the time. Anything is appreciated. And GOD HEARS OUR PRAYERS. (:

So, my first track meet is on Saturday. Can't say that I'm completely prepared for it. Not that I'm unprepared, but just not as ready as I should be. Like the fact that I don't have a jersey. Or real javelin shoes. Or my mark. Not like any of those things would really help me. Whatev. It'll just be an experiment this weekend, I guess.

Hope you have a glorious day.

Thoughts on a Perfectly Dreary Day

Today smells like ozone, cows, and remorse. That's what I get for living in Nebraska. I'm hoping the rain comes soon to wash away the stupid I've been clinging to for so long. Okay, I'm not exactly clinging; I'm just not pushing it away. I just woke up with a bad feeling in my stomach, like the feeling you get when you realize half of your exes are engaged. Okay, not really, but it's one of those punched-in-the-gut feelings which can be very similar to a lot of people. And by all accounts, it has been a good day. I got 3 papers back, and of all of them I'm very comfortable with my grade. I just feel some impending doom lurking overhead, which, of course, makes me a nervous wretch that nobody wants to be around. And honestly, I've hit the point where I just don't want to hurt anymore. I've put up with this for nearly 2 years, and you'd think that I'd have it under control. Oh, the joys of poor health and the literal achy heart. The arrival of the rain has been so prolonged. I just need this symbolic baptism, washing away the old, clearing the way for the new. I'm sick of feeling this way. I just want God to disencumber this area of my life. It's all in His will, though, so I'll continue being patient.

A Compilation of Unfortunate Ideas That Seemed to Make Sense at the Time.

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. Oscar Wilde


You may say that now, Mr. Wilde, but you don't know what I've just been through. Today's been one of those days, you know? Where nothing rolls in your favor and everyone and their dog is out to get you. Perhaps I'm being a little melodramatic and paranoid. Regardless of my paranoia, things haven't been working out too well for me these past 18 hours. Let me lay this all out for you:

1. Stayed up until 2 staring at my ceiling. Not sure why, maybe I was afraid it wouldn't be there when I woke up. I don't think my ceiling would just bail on me on a Sunday night.
2. Hit snooze, like, 20 times.
3. Once I finally woke up, as I was attempting to crawl out of my loft, I fell. And not just a slip, I fell and ate it hard. In the process, I'm pretty sure I pulled a hip flexor.
4. Took the longest shower I ever could. Resulted in me being late to class.
5. Didn't read the short story for Environmental Lit. gag.
6. [This one wasn't actually my doing] Brad Johnson ruined the end of Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury for me. I might as well not finish it.
7. Didn't go to my drawing class. Whatev.
8. Got caught up one www.cutewithchris.com. I'm helpless against cute animals and witty captions.
9. According to pitchfork.com, Bassnectar sucks and I listened to him today. We all know that what pitchfork says is truth.
10. Admitted to being a Royals fan. . . wait a second.
11. Eating in the caf at dinner today. Not even worth it.
12. Accidentally hit on some poor, defenseless skinny-guy. That was probably terrifying for him. So, anonymous skinny-guy, I'm sorry.
13. Listened to Rebecca Black's song "Friday."
14. Was 15 minutes late to practice. Oops.
15. Listened to "Friday" again in hopes that it could be better. It wasn't.
16. Failed to follow through at all during practice.
17. Touched sweaty Brad's face while he was doing abs. Awful. AWFUL.
18. Mixed a protein shake in a mason jar. It looked like baby puke in that jar and it became even more less appealing than it normally is.

That's as far as I've made it. I'll keep you posted on the rest of my misfortunes. Through all of this, however, I have maintained a joyful attitude because this is a day the Lord has made, so I will rejoice and be glad in it! Hope you're having a quacktastic day.

Habakkuk 3:18

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.